The Most Important Things

Originally published in Down Country Roads Magazine, Nov-Dec 2023

As the year wraps up and as the daylight hours dwindle, as the nights lengthen and the sunlight grows weaker, we gather ourselves in and gather ourselves together for a season of merrymaking, with all of its traditions and tastes and sights and sounds that bring us into a festive spirit.

Sadly, this season of wonderful merrymaking has lost its glow for many. Our cultural expressions in this season of the year obscure the true meaning and poignancy of this time. The beginning of November is a tipping point – Suddenly the year is almost over. Some shudder at the thought of winter being at our doorstep. Some of us are bracing for a calving season that isn’t too far away, and savoring the temporary slow-down, and maybe regretting how busy this time of year can be. Some roll their eyes at the wanton waste and foolishness of much of our festive cultural expressions. With Thanksgiving followed ironically and hotly by Black Friday and Cyber Monday, it is no wonder there is some weariness as the holidays collectively approach. Shopping malls are packed out like no other time of the year, and money that we don’t have is spent on gifts that have no meaning. Parties and festivities wear us out. Preparations drag us down.

The wanton lavishness of many highlights the bitter lack of others. Waste on the one hand highlights poverty on the other. Joy of some highlights the grief of others. Even our own joy can highlight our own grief, intermingled in our hearts. Our memories of good times are mingled with sadness at the empty places at our tables, at the missing ring of that certain laughter, the missing voice singing carols. Loneliness is the bitterest pill at this time of the year.

But all of those things are an argument to enter into this festive season with even more enthusiasm, even more sincerity, with eyes to see the One from Whom and to Whom this entire season is due.

The the older I get, the more I love the stretch of the calendar from Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Year’s, not for how our culture participates, not for the parties and the shopping and the frivolity, but because of the wonderful sense of gravity mingled with grace and joy. It is a time we have set aside culturally for the expression of thanks to our God before we enter into the Advent season, the glorious countdown to Christmas morning and our celebration of His entering into His Creation.

The older I get, the more it matters to me that I continue to express the traditions I grew up with, things that fostered a thorough experience of this whole season, from the songs to the foods to my cherished creches to the simple exchange of humble gifts, to the church services and the cutting of a Christmas tree. The older I get, the more the liturgical calendar speaks to me, the more the Advent season weighs joyfully on my heart. The older I get, the greater my desire to build traditions that my husband and I will pass down to our own children one day. It is a time of sweet nostalgia, vivid remembrances, joyfully looking back on traditions that are part of the fabric of our Christian culture and our families’ cultures, and joyfully applying those traditions now.

We don’t know what next year will bring, so how good it is that we are invited into a time of holding one another close, of opening our hearts and our homes, of celebrating and remembering and thanking God for all His gifts, the ones we understand and the ones we don’t. The time of thanksgiving after the season of harvest puts our hearts in line with what comes next, and if we cooperate, we are reminded of how little we need and how much we have. All the tastes and the smells and the sights and the sounds of the season invite us to enter into a spirit of joy and festivity, at the darkest time of the year. Simple traditions remind us of the past, of God’s enduring faithfulness over the decades and centuries, as so many observances and customs span generations and oceans and cultures. Traditions don’t have to clutter the landscape at this time of the year, they don’t have to add to the chaos. Instead, they can foster our heartfelt participation, and remind us of what is truly important.

3 thoughts on “The Most Important Things

  1. These words capture my heart — Our memories of good times are mingled with sadness at the empty places at our tables, at the missing ring of that certain laughter, the missing voice singing carols. Loneliness is the bitterest pill at this time of the year. — I love your writings and feel we are kindred souls.

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