Ranch Wife Musings | A baby milk cow named Marigold

Originally published in the Custer County Chronicle on March 26, 2025

“So, will your column be about a certain baby milk cow named Marigold?”

Brad has a way of poking fun through the most innocent of questions. And he knew the answer a week ago, when Marigold was born. Of course the column would feature the newest addition to Laura’s dairy operation. Silly question.

Posey calved last Wednesday, producing the prettiest little Jersey x Brown Swiss heifer, all golden brown, and rosy pink wherever her skin shows through parted hair, like along her back or the little spot on her nose. Some calves are sort of knock-kneed when they’re born, or their proportions are just a tick off. Not Marigold. She has the sweetest, brown-rimmed doe eyes, the curliest eyelashes, the floppiest ears all pink inside, and the straightest, slenderest white legs with dainty little deer-like hooves. And she’s happy! So happy. She comes literally skipping into the shed when I’m milking in the morning, prancing around merrily until she decides to nap, quite the contrast to Posey’s calf last year, a big bull calf, who just wandered around headbutting everything and knocking stuff over. This delicate critter is rather captivating.

I’ve spent a shameless amount of time sitting down on the stoop of the shed, soaking in all the springtime pleasantness and the satisfaction of seeing that beautiful little baby milk cow skip around the corrals or curl up in a puddle of sunshine. The last 9 months were spent hoping that the sexed Jersey semen would do its job, and I am basking in the exceptional outcome. And she is perfect. For me, any baby cow is cute, even the funny looking ones or the less proportionate ones. But you know a calf is particularly cute when a seasoned rancher is willing to say so. I felt very gratified and validated when it took no coaxing to get such an admission from my husband or my father-in-law.

But it isn’t just about Marigold, as much joy as she brings me. It is about community. Connection. It is about generational relationships that I feel so blessed and fortunate and humbled to have married into. And those complex topics are represented by the simple existence of this little baby milk cow.

Her mother, Posey, was a gift to me from Brad a year and a half ago, purchased from dear friends and neighbors that Brad practically grew up with. She was born on their ranch, and her mother was their long-time nurse cow, raising who knows how many bum calves. This same neighbor’s brother, the dad of one of Brad’s best childhood friends, AI’ed Posey for me last year as a belated wedding present. What a gift!

We are not islands unto ourselves, as the saying goes. Our modern, industrialized, efficient, corporatized society creates the sense of islands, isolated groups and individuals seemingly disconnected from their neighbors. We’ve created a society where we rely most heavily on people we never will know, where person is separated from person by space and perspective and interests in ways that only deepen the sense of isolation. And technology, as much benefit as it brings, as much potential for good as it has, in many ways has driven this divide, as we are no longer forced to rely on those closest to us.

But peer into the inner workings of the agricultural community and you’ll see something very different. I’m continually amazed and blessed by the interconnectedness, and it begins within the four walls of each home. I rely on Brad. He relies on me. We rely on our families. They rely on us. We all rely on our neighbors. They in turn rely on us. And on it goes.

It is especially apparent going into branding season, where the all-hands-on-deck, neighbor-helping-neighbor work is accomplished to the benefit of the whole community, as everyone sees to it that everyone’s work gets done, but it shows up more subtly as well. As the stories fly, the community gets wonderfully smaller. The excellent cattle dog that you find out was out of So-and-so’s dog. The roping horse you’re told was trained by this person. The truck bought from that person. The chaps made by this person. The saddle crafted by that person. The branding stove made by So-and-so. The barn built by So-and-so. Adventures, mishaps, and memories shared across generations, binding family to family and neighbor to neighbor.

So, I look at my rosy-golden little calf and her mama and I see a distilled-down representation of community. I see the gift of a husband to his wife in Posey. I see the connection of friend to friend, neighbor to neighbor, in Marigold herself. I see family integration and affection represented by a nurse cow who generates no pasture bill and who raises whatever calf needs a mama, regardless of its brand, in a small way benefitting everyone.

Lots of thoughts prompted by a critter so tiny.

So, I will continue to shamelessly sit and watch the sweet interactions of a mama cow and her baby, listening to the noisy nursing sounds, watching that little white-splotched tail whip back and forth, watching the bony little head thump the shapely udder, watching the merry creature skipping around in play. And be thankful for the community I get to call my own.

Season of Thanks | November 16

Posey and I had a breakthrough yesterday, and this morning I milked 5 quarts of milk from my pretty little cow. What a lovely task, truly. In spite of the dirt and the muck and the hands cramping. Head leaned against her warm flank, chickens and cats waiting for treats, Josie checking on me from time to time, and Posey’s contented and comfortable sounds, while the white milk hisses and foams into the bucket.

And her cream in my coffee in the morning? Divine.

Season of Thanks | November 10

Beautiful, frosty mornings. Good work to do. Neighbors to work with. A good horse to ride.

We preg tested at a neighbor’s, and the cows tested up really well, and the day couldn’t have been nicer!

Season of Thanks | November 9

It was a good day. The kittens are enjoying their extra feedings, my piano students did tolerably well (actually they did great), I got the last errands run in preparation for the Winter Market on Saturday, and for cow work next week, and….

….This pretty girl showed up in our corrals this evening! You should have seen my face!

I had been researching milk cows for awhile, and a neighbor kept this Jersey x Guernsey girl and her mom as nurse cows, but were ready to get out of that. I couldn’t have been more surprised when Brad drove into the yard with Posey in his trailer! Pretty sure my smile was ear-to-ear! She is still lactating but is ready to be dried off soon, and should calve in April!

Ranch Wife Musings | The Gratitude Cup

Originally printed in the Custer County Chronicle on November 8, 2023

What a month is November! Not as spectacular as October, not as festively-inclined as December, but with its own spice and savor. We’ve been dazzled by the first of many frosts sparkling in amber-rose sunrises; we’ve seen the first winterish stars appear in the pale blue of a clear-cold sky, with the slivered moon hanging just above the horizon. Winter is approaching.

Fall cow work is wrapping up, calves are being weaned, and cows are being pregnancy tested, giving the first indication of how the next year might go. It is a month of completion, evidenced by the cattle pots thick on the highways, heavy with the fall calf crop. Year by year, it can be a month of joyous excitement, or a month of the doldrums, and we in our own heads and hearts have a lot to say about which of those it is. Will we let the time blur past in a meaningless whirlwind, or will it be a poignant time of reflection and joy?

Have you ever sat around after a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner, with plenty of turkey and stuffing and corn casserole, and the host instructs his captive guests into a participatory activity, with the dreaded words, “So now we will go around the table and everyone will say something he or she is thankful for!” It is deliciously uncomfortable and the host is always gleefullychipper, but a covert glance reveals a herd of deer-in-the-headlights expressions. Everyone follows the instructions like they’re taking a spoonful of something that won’t kill them but will make them stronger, and the first individual to walk the plank usually meekly murmurs something like, “I’m thankful for my family,” to which wholly expected but somehow flat answer everyone smiles and nods obligingly. Another quick glance around the room, and more deer in the headlights as everyone desperately hunts for a new answer. The most obvious (and weightiest) choice taken, suddenly there seems to be nothing left. Finally, mercifully, the exercise is over and everyone eats pie.

Is this scenario even remotely familiar? 

Goodness.

Why in the world is this? Why, for people who have so much, is our thanks and gratitude so flat and lifeless? We can conjure up expressions of gratitude for the most obvious things, but struggle to express gratitude outside of that. We of all people should be simply bursting with gratitude, so aware of our blessings, that expression of it just pours out of us!

Could it be that we fail to prime our hearts to be thankful, failingto cultivate a day-to-day gratitude for the many mundane things we truly cherish but often overlook?

Could it be that our thankful-meters are poorly calibrated? We wrack our pitiful, gratitude-starved minds for something obvious, like a raise or a promotion or a new baby or a new house or a life-saving medical procedure, and we come up empty. If those are the sorts of things I’m looking for, I’ll come up empty a lot. Because in general for many of us life actually stays more or less the same from year to year. We kind of count on it. So, if we don’t have a heart of gratitude in and for the little things, we will feel empty.

Daily graces. Those things we take for granted and would profoundly miss. Evidences of God’s kindness.

Like waking up next to your spouse in the morning. Or like waking up at all. 

Like a glorious sunrise – Isn’t it amazing that we have a sunrise every single day? Or the sunset—We have those every day, too! 

Like the first cup of coffee, steaming in the early morning light.

Like fresh, cold air in the lungs, and sunlight on the face, even as we bundle up against the chill. 

Like the amazing transformation rendered by frost thick in the grass and on the trees. 

Like work to do, whatever one’s occupation, and the shape and purpose good work gives to our lives.

Hands that are able to be busy at a task. 

Newly-weaned calves, healthy and fat. 

Baskets of fresh eggs. 

The aroma of oven-hot bread. 

A book to read and a mug of tea, and warmth flowing through fingers cold from being outside. 

Those pesky piles of laundry to do—it means we are well-clothed!

Stacks of dishes in the sink—it means we are well-fed! 

Muddy footprints on the floor—someone or something loved made those prints. 

A friendly smile from a stranger. 

Laughter and humor to lighten life. 

The joy of bringing happiness into someone else’s sorrow or loneliness or weariness. 

Like voice in song. Anyone’s voice. Your own voice. 

Like warm socks and long underwear. 

Like companionship in family, friends, neighbors. 

Like joy after tears—because there is. There always is. 

Like those million little graces that are present even in the hardest of times. Even when life is at its bleakest or boringest. Even when it seems like this year wasn’t any different than last year. Even when things went wrong, dreadfully wrong, or what we hoped would happen didn’t come to pass. Even when life feels like a grind, when relationships are tough, and the roads are bad. 

So, find something. Something tiny. It doesn’t have to be profound. One of those daily graces that we experience and don’t think twice about. And put it in your gratitude cup. And then find something else. And something else. And before long, that cup of gratitude will overflow.

Season of Thanks | November 7

What a blessing it is to work. To have structure and purpose for the day. Weekly projects and daily chores.To have rhythms and patterns to our life. To have tasks to do and sweat to break. To be depended upon by furred and feathered creatures. To have food to prepare and gardens to tend and bread to bake. A house to care for. Laundry to do. Floors to clean.

Work. Not a curse, but part of the purpose God gave to Adam and Eve in the garden. What would we do without it?