Category Archives: gratitude

Ranch Wife Musings | The times that make us

Posted on by under Agriculture and Ranching, country life, gratitude

Originally printed in Custer County Chronicle, July 19, 2023

“It is a year for the books,” a lot of people are saying. Looking down from the house towards the barn, the yard is a peaceful chaos of color and activity, a stark contrast to the dull and lifeless landscape of last year. The smell of fresh-cut hay is heavy and sweet, the birds are noisily serenading themselves, and the two roosters down by the henhouse are just full of it and sharing it with everyone else. My little flock of pullets started to lay in the last few days, adding their pretty eggs to the basket and joining the ranks of the laying hens. A robin ruffles his feathers in the spray from the sprinkler watering the flowers, and the vegetable garden is a fruitful jungle: bright yellow dill towering above the hail netting, the zucchini and yellow squash overflowing from the stock tank they’re growing in, zinnias and poppies shining their bright faces up at the sun. The little greenhouse is bursting at the seams. A few of the horses below strike up a heated conversation for a moment, and one of the puppies harasses the steer or barks at a buzzard. A delightful chaos. And there, soft in the background, is the comfortable whirr of the rake and the baler, the hayfield in the distance studded with bale upon bale of hay.

What a sight.

What a year.  

This time a year ago, we were just trying to keep everything alive. A tough calving season was followed by bleak drought, the worst that a lot of folks around here had ever seen. Pastures basically stopped growing in June, if they ever really grew to begin with. Hay crops were devastatingly low, and we didn’t even try mowing half of our hay ground. Driving across the ranch or down Highway 79 left a little knot in the pit of the stomach, seeing the dust and the cured-out grasses. And if it wasn’t tough enough already, the grasshoppers moved in, demolishing gardens and thinning the already thin pastures. The summer became a game of just trying to stave off some of the effects of the drought, struggling to keep water in front of thirsty cows, and at the end of it all there was very little to show for anything. Stackyards were empty, dams were low, herd numbers were forced to dwindle, and pastures were worn out. Winter, then, was the struggle of trying to keep weight on hungry cows, and then trying to keep calves alive in the snowstorms. It was a tough year. A tight year. One of those years where the inputs and outputs were wildly disproportionate, where all the best efforts and the gallons of sweat didn’t mean a thing. Or they sure didn’t seem to.

I love talking to people who have been around the sun a few more times than I have, people who have seen their share of drought and storm and life in general. They have a longer perspective than I often have, a longer perspective than I am able to have. They’re the ones who can say, with the voice of experience, “It’s just what it does.” The ones who have seen the brink of disaster, but who have also seen what followed. They have weathered the worst without breaking.

Because those best efforts and gallons of sweat do mean something.

Maybe the effort felt wasted, or the sweat dried and everything was still the same or even worse, but days, weeks, months, and years of challenge and difficulty prime us for receiving the good years, or months, or weeks, or days. Sometimes, because we have stubborn hearts and blind eyes, we don’t see the good or fully appreciate it, until and unless we have something to compare it to. Last year gave us something to compare to.

So even as I take a break from chores and look down over the greenness and fruitfulness of the garden and hayfields, and see the sleek cows, well-summered, and soak in the peace that is this year, the sense of relief seeing water in Spring Creek and hay in the stackyards and water in the dams, even as I enjoy the satisfaction of a fruitful harvest without a fight, I’m thankful. Thankful for this year, of course, for answered prayers and work that is fruitful. But it isn’t just this year I’m thankful for.  I’m thankful for last year, for the struggle that it was, for the difficulty and challenge that makes this year that much sweeter.

The years like this one might be the pleasantest, and they are certainly the kinds of years we pray for. But it is in those tough years where faith is strengthened, where resilience is born, where endurance is built, where the ability to cling tight to the things that matter is cultivated, and where strong individuals, families, and communities are made. That effort, that sweat, is never wasted. Those are the times that make us.

The Men Who Made Us

Posted on by under country life, gratitude, Writing

Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight. ~Proverbs 4:1

We learn the foundations of life from them – Our work ethics, how to interact in the world, how to treat people, how to be the people God made us to be. We follow their examples. In relationships. In work. In spiritual and faith matters. We learn life skills, of all sorts. We learn our sense of humor from them. We learn how to shrug off a skinned knee or hurt feelings, how to stand up tall and stand our ground. Boys learn about manhood how to treat women by how their fathers treat their mothers. Girls learn about womanhood and how they should be treated as women, by watching how their fathers treat their mothers. We share their genetics. Physical characteristics. Personality traits.

There are two important fathers in my life, men who have played important roles in my life over the years, and who have, through their examples and leadership and faith and decisions, contributed to the life I feel so blessed to be living. My father, and my father-in-law.

Like many a father does, like a good father will, my dad set my standard in so many ways – He was the dad, the best dad. He was the way a father ought to be. The way a husband ought to be. I think of the things I learned from my dad – My view of the world, my love of Jesus, my entrepreneur-spirit, that it is okay to change directions in life, how to follow God even when what He is asking of us makes no sense to the people around us. How to do what is right even when everything in you and around you is rebelling against it. That there are so many things more important in life than what others think of us, or how padded our bank accounts are. I learned my love of the outdoors. My love of politics and theology. My love of photography, even. In a lot of ways, I can thank my dad for the husband I ended up marrying. Dad’s example of Godly manhood shaped and influenced what I knew to look for in a husband, the things that were important to me. Kindness. Humility. A genuine and abiding love for Christ. A willingness to learn and grow and change. A desire to lead.

But my thankfulness doesn’t stop with my dad. Not only have I been blessed with a Godly and strong father, God has also blessed me with a great father-in-law. I am also so thankful for the man who shaped and molded my now husband as a boy and a younger man, who has served as a primary example to my husband of how a faithful husband and father should act, how to be a leader in the community and church, and a man of strength and resilience. I’m thankful for his kind spirit and his willingness to teach. Incidentally, he was the first person to come alongside me the first day I showed up to a fire department training and start showing me the ropes. Little did I think that five years later he’d be my father-in-law!

Dad, I’m so thankful to be your daughter! Dave, I’m thankful to be your daughter-in-law! For the roles you’ve played in my life, for your faith in God and your faithfulness to the things He has given you. Both of you, for your kindness and care for the people around you. For being Godly men, men of character and integrity.

Happy Father’s Day!

Raindrops on Roses

Posted on by under Agriculture and Ranching, country life, gratitude, Photography

You probably know the song. It happens to be one of my favorite songs, and in another life I enjoyed singing the role of Maria in two different community theatre productions of Sound of Music. There’s a fun fact for the day!

But does it really get much prettier than this?

The roses have burst into bloom over the last week, and I don’t know that I’ve ever photographed them looking more fetching than during this stormy-day walk.

Photo Roundup | May 14 – 20

Posted on by under Agriculture and Ranching, country life, gratitude

Looking over pictures from the last couple of weeks, the beauty of answered prayers is just impressed on my mind.

And how many answered prayers! Recent and distant, present and past, big and small.

I think of how dry and drought-stricken we were a year ago. How many promising storms we watched build and dissipate without leaving us a drop of rain. I remember how short and stubbly the pastures were, how the grass headed out in June when it was barely six inches tall. I remember the dust we kicked up on the trail, the cracks in the earth. I remember the feelings of uncertainty and seeing the lines of care deepen on the faces that I love.

But God is a God who sees, hears, and provides. He listens. I look at these photographs and see green – so much of it! I see answered prayers.

He has provided rain. Good grass and hayfields that promise a yield. Healthy livestock. Good neighbors.

Then my mind wanders a little father back, to the life I was living two short years ago. The loneliness and unexplainable longings, the dreams and hopes and desires that had gotten snuffed out with the cares of life. My love of writing. My love of photography. My love of the outdoors and hard work. The desire to fit in somewhere. To belong somewhere. To belong to someone.

Then I look at these photographs that I took in the span of a single week and I see answered prayer after answered prayer.

God has provided a community. Belonging. Family. Friends. So much beauty to enjoy. Good work to do. A loving husband to walk alongside.

God is so good. All the time.

Ranch Wife Musings | Tend Your Own Garden

Posted on by under country life, gardening, gratitude, Writing

As spring has emerged, it has been a delight to watch leaf after leaf poke up from the ground and begin to grow. Day by day, I can see changes as my perennials have doubled in size, and it is sheer joy to see plants that I tended faithfully last summer grow with even greater vigor this year, spreading out and sending up new shoots! My one lupine seedling that survived the summer heat is now a huge plant, and I can’t wait to see what the flowers are like when it blooms this year!

 

But what would happen if, instead of delighting in my own garden, I compare what I have to my neighbor’s? What if, instead of seeing the beauty in what I’ve successfully grown, I resent what my neighbor can grow that I cannot, or what she has spent years cultivating that I only planted last year? Do this for long enough or with great enough intensity, and your own garden with all its beauty and its potential, will wilt and die. 

Isn’t life like that? What we have at any given time is usually what we’ve cultivated over the last months or years of our lives. Sometimes what we try to cultivate just doesn’t grow, or it doesn’t flourish and we finally realize it’s time to uproot that thing and put our efforts elsewhere. Then, sometimes, we look at our neighbor and the life she is living and we imagine that our life should look just like that. We’re angry that it doesn’t and we begin to resent her. But the crazy thing is, so often what she has that we are resenting isn’t even what we tried to grow, if we’re honest with ourselves! I’m sure all of us have been there. 

Jealousy kills. It’s like spraying herbicide onto your neighbor’s garden out of spite, and killing your own garden with the drift instead. We need to learn to rejoice in the life that we’ve been given, the garden that God is allowing us to cultivate. Quit staring at your neighbor’s garden, quit envying what she has that you don’t have. Quit comparing, and quit telling yourself that you deserve her life. God has given you a beautiful life!

Tend your own garden. And find joy in the beauty that’s there.

Ranch Wife Musings | The Best Rain

Posted on by under Agriculture and Ranching, country life, gratitude

It slowly, sweetly rained for the better part of 36 hours, filling every bucket and pan and tub that was out in the yard, making the corral blessedly muddy and every little slope a running stream. Each and every step was a splash and splatter of water and mud and the pups endlessly tracked into the kitchen, and further into the house if I wasn’t quick enough. It was the best rain. The kind that comes when we need it most. The best.

The longer the winter, the sweeter the spring. The harder the work, the better the rest. The hotter the day, the greater the refreshment of the evening coolness. The longer the loneliness, the sweeter “I love you.”

The greater the need, the greater the relief when the need is met.

So rain, any rain when it is needed desperately, is the best rain. And the longer it comes, the better it gets. I love to see it streaming down the windowpanes, a sight we haven’t seen in so long, running in rivulets down the driveway and making ruts and mud and such a mess, such a wonderful, beautiful mess! It came slow enough that the thirsty ground was able to drink it almost all up, and any that is left will put water in our dams.

I see relief in the landscape, the animals, the trees and grasses and other plants. The calves looked happier, playing in the rain rather than choking on dust. Cheerful little ducks bounce around in the puddles along our driveway. Cows are glad not to be walking a mile to get to water, and the dogs are just always happy. In a matter of 24 hours, the grass was greener, taller, thicker, and it seems that the alfalfa began to spring up in that short time as well. The fruit trees and the perennial garden look better and better, and the ponderosas are rich and dark, with none of the sickly, yellowish cast they had in the later part of the winter. I can’t wait to see what everything looks like in a week, after we get a little heat and sun on the watered ground!

The rain tapered off yesterday, but we have still had periods of mist and light showers, and the dampness is refreshing and glorious. An answer to so many prayers.

Yes, indeed. It was the best rain.