Winter, Until It Isn’t

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Originally published in the March/April 2025 issue of Down Country Roads Magazine

What do we call this time between true winter and true spring? It needs its own name, because applying either label cheats these months out of their own unique charm. But if we are to be confined to those two descriptors, I’ll say this: It is winter, until it is not.

We may be covered with a foot of snow. Our teeth may be chattering against a biting north wind and sub-zero temperatures. We may be chopping ice and stomping around in heavy winter boots, in thick coats and hats and coveralls and heavy gloves. We may be shoveling snow and digging critters out of snow drifts, but winter is on its way out! The end is in sight. Cold days don’t last. Warmups are punctuated by frosts and snows, and cold snaps are punctuated with blue-sky balminess. The days deliciously lengthen. Everything – two-legged critter and four-legged critter alike – is simply bursting at the seams with pent-up energy, soaking in the sunlight, and new life springs up every time a person turns around. The barnyard, the garden, the hillsides, the sky, everything is stirring with an unmistakable effervescence, if you will, a scintillating energy. Spring is “bustin’ out all over,” as the old Rodgers and Hammerstein classic goes.  

There is almost too much to look at. The living room has been overtaken with the beginnings of the new garden – Seedlings stretch their little leaves towards the westerly sunlight streaming in the window, the optimistic beginnings of what will hopefully be a fruitful summer. Cheeping and twittering come from the spare bedroom – Tiny fuzzballs of chicks bask in their brooder box, where they are gazed upon by multiple pairs of eager eyes (one pair of human eyes, and three pairs of canine eyes), before they are moved down to the nursery box in the barn.

The dogs, somewhat content in the wintertime to hunker down inside, throw aside their hibernation for rambunctious play at all hours of the day and night, stir-crazy and insistent. And the barnyard – What a chaos! “The barnyard is busy in a regular tizzy,” another song goes merrily through my mind, “and the obvious reason is because of the season.” (Once upon a time, musical lyrics were actually clever and cute.) “Each nest is twittering, they’re all babysittering – Spring, spring, spring!”

Little calves, brand-new and knock-kneed, stagger to their feet as their mamas welcome them to the world, wet and sneezing and floppy-eared – What a beautiful sight! Slightly older calves race around with baby bovine bursts of laughable, haphazard, chaotic energy, giving the distinct impression that their gangly legs and their brains aren’t quite communicating yet. In between cold snaps and little storms, they sack out in the sun, dazed and darling. The chickens, sullen and peevish for much of the winter (not that I blame them) suddenly rediscover joy in those first green shoots they find in the yard, and the egg basket runneth over. The milk cow is in milk again, lavishing us with her plenty. My morning coffee is au lait again, and the sweet rhythm of the milking routine is followed by the sweet busyness of skimming the cream and making butter and culturing yogurt and salting curds to make aged cheeses, and the cats learn to love life again, too, spoiled and round with excess.

Spring, spring, spring! It is winter, until it isn’t anymore.

Everywhere one turns, there is evidence of spring. Bare-limbed trees set buds subtly, and the first little hint of green lights up the pastures, grazed down and winter-worn. Shaded hillsides, that have held on to a winter’s worth of snow, little or much, suddenly run with life-giving water, and we can breathe deep of the long-missed smell of good clean dirt. Even the winter storms that blow in lack the bitterness of a December or February storm, and in the snow there is a taste of springtime.

Fingers yearn to sink into the dirt. Arms are ready to feel the sunshine. Feet are ready to tread on green grass and soft ground. Eyes are ready for color and greenness and softening of contours. Lungs are ready for the sweet, warm breath of a thawing earth, the perfume of the first flowers. Ears are ready for the meadowlark and the bluebird, the sandhill crane and the dove, the music of running water and the gentler murmuring of the spring breeze.

It is winter, for now, until suddenly it isn’t. 

Ranch Wife Musings | After the Cold Snap

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Originally printed in the Custer County Chronicle on Feb. 26, 2025

This melt-off and warmup is as good as it gets in February or early March, days full of sun and the sound of water running off everything. There is mud everywhere! Relief and contentment radiate from everything, from the mellow gaze of a cow chewing her cud, to the half-closed eyes of her baby nursing, or tucked away safely on a little island of solid ground, comfortable and lazy in the warming air, perfectly happy with the ready supply of milk and hay to bed down on. The chickens have again taken to the yard, happy to leave their coop, and the cats snooze in the sun on the piles of sweet-smelling hay, greeting me with pink-mouthed yawns and arched-back stretches, rather than yowls.

What a difference a week can make!

It was one of those frigid mornings during that brutal cold snap, when just about everything gets cancelled except for ranching. Brad, covered in snow, burst into the mudroom with his arms full of a half-frozen calf. He had found it about a mile and a half from our house, and in sub-zero temperatures it doesn’t take long for a newborn calf to chill down and freeze. She wasn’t dead, but she sure wasn’t quite alive either. Her eyes were wide and staring, her little ribcage rose and fell hectically, and the occasional moo might have been a death moan.

The prognosis didn’t seem overly optimistic, but if you hand a ranch wife a sad little animal, she will try to fix it. The calf was a pretty little thing, dark brown with unique white markings on her face, white rimming her speckled pink nose, and white hairs on her ears so they looked frosted. The calf’s mama hadn’t even had a chance to clean her off before her hair froze, so she was a slippery little critter as soon as she started to thaw out. Her mouth was cold, which isn’t a good sign, but she still blinked and moved her eyes, which was hopeful. I turned that bathroom into a sauna and ran the water heater out of hot water, and little by little, her limbs loosened up. She began moving her ears, and trying to shake her head. Her mouth was still cold but her tongue had started to warm up, and a little corn syrup in her cheek helped, too.

And then, finally, after a couple of hours, she sucked my fingers. Now, that’s a great sign.

We gave her colostrum and graduated her to the calf warmer around lunchtime, where she stayed for the rest of the day and the night, and early the next morning when Brad did a heifer check he stuck her with her mom. When I was stomping around doing my chores, I poked my head into the shed. Mama cow stared at me rather defiantly, and behind her were four little knock-kneed legs. I waited, not sure it was the right calf, but the sweet brockle face peeked around mama’s hind legs. Her little ears, frosted with white hair, were perky. She took a couple hesitant steps, and then made a little baby frisk, all four legs coming off the ground in a clumsy expression of infant playfulness. It warmed the heart on a frigid day.

Another cow had lost her calf the day before, so I let my bottle calf get hungry (a powerful motivator), then tromped down to the calving shed with her. She walked with her head right next to my knees, the way a calf follows her mom. The poor little thing, now a month old, had been orphaned as soon as she was born, so she never got to nurse, but she always would suck my fingers, and she let me lead her nose over to the heifer’s udder. No coaxing was required. God’s design in these baby critters is so evident, in the beautiful instinct that He has instilled in them, and their incredible resilience in spite of their fragility. It was a treat to see her white-tipped tail whipping back and forth as she got that first real mama’s milk, and a week later it is a delight to see her content and satiated, wandering lazily over to nurse, her chapped nose healed up now that she is no longer licking it, and her recognition of me is quiet and friendly rather than desperate and heartbreaking. The brockle-faced calf is still doing well, and another dozen calves have joined them uneventfully. Life is good.

A cold snap brings a strange sort of survival mode to the ranch, alternating between having more to do than ever and having nothing to do because nothing can be done. Sometimes all that can or needs to be done is to put feed in front of animals and keep the water open, and wait for the weather to change or for something to go wrong. Because when things go wrong, they go wrong in catastrophic fashion. But, on the other side, those things that went right are sweeter than ever. I love going down to the nursery pens and just watching. Watching the springtime hubbub of mamas and babies, hearing the warm stillness punctuated with baby moos and cows talking back. The sloppy noises of hooves in mud. The sweet rustle of mouthfuls of hay. All the little suckling noises, or a bony calf head thumping an udder. Their mamas are so patient. I love watching as a nursing calf comes up for air and stands in a milk stupor with its tongue stuck out. It is sweet to watch brand new, first-time mamas learn to mother.

From the other side of a cold snap, it is amazing how much went so very right.

After a Hiatus

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Sometimes it is good and healthy to just step away for a little while, in a way that allows for some thinking and pondering, allows the creativity pool to fill up again. It wasn’t entirely intentional, but it more just happened, in the busyness of the holiday season, from the rush of Thanksgiving to the happy celebration of Christmas, to the fresh newness of the New Year and all that comes with it.

And then, a very unromantic contributing factor was our internet, which had gotten progressively worse and was no longer conducive to writing or photo work, except for the bare minimum. When it would take at least 10 minutes just to load my blog platform so I could begin to format an article (if it would end up loading, not to mention the time it took to upload a photo or three!), it just wasn’t sustainable and I had better things to be doing with my time! But that was happily remedied, the rush of the holidays are over, calving season is well underway, and springtime is a’coming!

I’m busy, but back in business. And I’m so happy to be here.

P.S. Stay tuned for a little backlog of a few articles. They’ll be backdated so they remain sequential, but I’m so excited to share them with you!

Ranch Wife Musings | The Best Life We Can Give Them

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Originally published in the Custer County Chronicle on January 29, 2025

Calving season on the ranch is a period of stark contrasts, a time of seeing some of the best of the best of God’s Creation alongside some of the saddest of the saddest. On the one hand, we revel in seeing mother cows birth and nourish and protect their young with such incredible maternal instincts, showcasing the best of God’s design for them; we search the pastures for newborn calves tucked away safely like little Easter eggs in long grass and sheltered places, waiting while their mamas graze or go to water; we see the fascinating natural formation of nursery groups by the busy mamas, so all calves are watched and all mother cows are fed and watered. But there is also the too-frequent reminder that we live in a broken world, the effects of which trickle down to the creatures we steward as well. Calves are stillborn or die afterwards, weather events challenge the best of our efforts, calving complications end tragically, and Nature takes its toll indiscriminately and sometimes it feels randomly.

Sometimes the bitterness and sweetness come by turns, first one and then the other. Sometimes they are mixed, inseparable. Sometimes they mix in the strangest sort of tragicomedy called a bottle calf that sticks around for weeks and months.

Granted, calving season for us isn’t supposed to start until the end of February, although neighbors of ours are already in the thick of it, or even are wrapping up. But we had a few, shall we say, incidents last year perpetrated by a yearling bull that was supposed to be a steer and wasn’t, and some dozen or so yearling heifers that he apparently found very attractive and which were not intended to be breeding animals. One calf showed up right before Christmas, and a few more showed up over the next month, one of which was orphaned more or less immediately. Of course, I had just dried up the milk cow.

Bottle calves are supposed to be a nuisance. They’re supposed to be a hassle and, given the cost of a bag of powdered milk replacer, they are a financial nuisance, if nothing else. But clearly I’m not as wise and mature as other members of my family, because I’m afraid I don’t consider the three-times-daily feedings a nuisance, and really don’t object to calf bottles and pitchers for mixing the milk taking over the bathroom, or even the faint but persistent odor of soured milk. I don’t even mind trotting down in the dark to give Beckybell (my endearing husband named the calf after his mother-in-law – isn’t he charming?) her suppertime bottle. I’m afraid I don’t mind having my toes trampled by tiny hooves or my knees butted by the bony little head, or even the milky mess she somehow leaves all over my clothes. In fact, I thoroughly enjoy being mama cow. A few days ago, Beckybell managed to escape the nursery pen and was waiting for me and her evening bottle at the house when we got back from our walk. During the cold snap last week, her little ears froze, so she’s been wearing various ridiculous iterations of ear muffs to keep them from re-freezing, and I think we saved the ears.

But as much as I enjoy this critter and having close interactions with an animal that usually is only handled from a distance, it leaves a little sore pang in my heart. She is lacking her mama. God designed her to need her mama.

 As much bad press as ranchers get from climate activists, as much as the FDA and the CDC and whatever other three- and four-letter organizations there are that vilify cows as being a blight upon the earth and an alleged contributor to global warming (or is it global cooling, I can’t remember?), or as much as PETA has gone after ranchers for “cruel treatment” of livestock, there is so incredibly much that people in those organizations do not see. Good things. Wholesome things. The best things. As agriculture as an industry has increased in size, and as the number of people engaged in it has dwindled, people have lost their understanding, yet continue to pass judgements.

They don’t see the ranchers intently watching the weather ahead of a winter snow event, heading out on ATVs with sleet biting their faces to move 100 cows into a more sheltered pasture. They don’t see the heroic and futile efforts in sub-zero weather to save a calving cow. They don’t see the careful tending during a cold snap, keeping water open and food on the ground. They don’t see the desperate attempt to warm a nearly-frozen calf downed during a snowstorm. They don’t see the careful tending of a newborn calf and the new mother. They don’t feel the defeat when a young calf dies and the cow won’t leave its side. They don’t see the bleary-eyed rancher getting up every two hours to check heifers, and they don’t hear the pre-dawn phone call up to the house to ask his little wife to bundle up and come down to the calving shed to help turn a backward calf, since she has smaller hands. They don’t see the tears shed over a failed save or the teary-eyed laughter at a success. They don’t see the miracle of a calf taking its first steps with a sleep-deprived ranching couple looking on smiling, or chuckling as an overzealous mama cow knocks it over with her aggressive licking. They don’t see the ranch wife on the umpteenth feeding of a little white-faced bottle baby, tucking the calf in for the night, sorry in her heart that there isn’t a mama cow for the little orphan.

Because we care for the livestock that God has give us to steward. We hate seeing them suffer, we love seeing them thrive, and we do everything in our power to give them the best life we can give them. At no time is that more apparent than in that sweet moment when a newborn calf hits the ground, floppy eared and wet and sneezing up fluid, and mama cow turns and sees the little intruder. As she goes to work cleaning it off, instinct overriding her surprise, we watch in quiet awe, full of pleasant warmth on the coldest of days.

Clarity in a Cowherd

Posted on by under Agriculture and Ranching, country life

On those winter days when the temps plummet, I’m always amazed at the resilience of our livestock. With a heavy layer of frost or ice like a jacket over their hairy backs, and plenty of calories for heat-creation, they do quite well. These beautiful boys were entirely unbothered by the temps that send the rest of us scurrying for extra layers and hot things to drink.

There is a lot of brawn underneath that hide. You feel very small standing next to one of these beasts, which is why in general you don’t do it. They’re handled gingerly, respectfully, and generally from a distance.

These bulls are gorgeous specimens of breeding bulls, embodying what is needed for healthy herd genetics. Strength. Power. Masculinity. Which is exactly what is sought after in a bull, and are the traits that make them successful in their work.

Bulls should be masculine. And cows should be feminine. Pretty simple, pretty cut and dry. In the midst of a confused culture, there’s ample clarity in a cowherd.

Ranch Wife Musings | Look Higher

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Originally published in the Custer County Chronicle on January 1, 2025

There is something extra special about the first day of a new year. From the first delicious moments of the first sunrise, to the sweet last glow as the sun sets, there is something poignant and sacred about the start of a new year, and all the associated firsts. The world feels clean and unsullied. Winter is fresh upon us. The color that fades from the earth seems to infuse into the sky and the eyes are drawn up, up. Just after sunset is the most mesmerizing, when the southwesterly expanse gleams like an opal, clear and dazzling, from the brilliant scarlet and pale rose in the west, to lavender and blue above, and the sweetest green to the south, a whole watercolor rainbow. The first stars are breathtaking. It is impossible not to gaze, impossible not to look higher. Higher than the withered grasses and bare limbs of trees. Higher, to that ephemeral perfection of the new sky.

January 1, 2025. Really, no different than December 31, 2024.

And yet, it is. The new year opens up like the pages of an unread book, or an unwritten one, depending on your perspective. The old year is gone, like a book finished, and hopefully we remember what stories were told in it, the lessons learned, the joys had, the tears shed, the successes and failures, and look forward to the New Year with hope and eagerness.

So often, though, we squander this annual opportunity. The New Year and the making of resolutions is often merely an excuse to settle ourselves deeper in our own self-centeredness. (There, I said it. A little on the nose perhaps, but I said it.) A quick Google search of the top New Year’s resolutions yields a list rife with such goals as losing weight, eating healthier, money management, time management, improved sleep hygiene, improved work-life balance, reducing alcohol consumption, quitting smoking, drinking more water, and pursuing a new hobby, to name a few of the many things that fall into the broad category of self-care, that snake-oil remedy peddled for all our ills, whether physical, spiritual, relational or emotional, and which has wreaked havoc on our relationships and families.

Because do you notice what’s missing? The people are missing. And just maybe that is why so many resolutions and goals fail in about 22 days flat. Without a “why” that extends beyond self, I think goals and resolutions are generally destined to fail.

But here’s the thing about those sorts of goals and resolutions: they are 100% safe. They fuel our smugness as we pursue them, but our self-satisfaction can comfortably accept our failure. With the bar practically set upon the ground, success is semi-sweet, and reaps a few benefits, surely, but if we fail, it isn’t overly painful and no one really notices or cares too much. We set our sights so low! It is a lot easier to reflect at the end of the year with a shrug that I failed to start a new hobby, than to realize and truly acknowledge that I failed to grow in my love of my spouse, my neighbor, or God.

So, what if we looked higher? What if we took the chance, each New Year, to evaluate our habits and goals and ambitions in light of Someone besides ourself? Perhaps, the Person Whose birth we just celebrated?

The Bible teaches that we are to do all things for the glory of God. The Bible teaches that followers of Jesus are known by their love. We are instructed to set our minds on things above, not on earthly things, and to dwell on those things which are “true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and of good repute, anything that is excellent or worthy of praise.” We are to seek to outdo one another in showing love, the only time I can think of where the Bible instructs competition. We are to forgive wrongs done. We are to show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We are to live peaceably with one another. We are to be submissive one to another. We are to have order within ourselves and within our families.

What would happen if we set goals and made resolutions that were inherently others-oriented? What if we were as determined to cut out biting words spoken to a family member as we were to cut out alcohol or smoking? What if we strove to shed that certain contentious habit with the same eagerness that we strive to shed 5 pounds? What if 52 hikes in a year became 52 encouraging cards or letters? What if we were as intent upon a half hour or hour in God’s Word as we are intent upon our physical improvement? What if we opened our homes regularly? Loved our spouses specifically? Strove to bless our neighbor intentionally?

And what if we actually invited accountability? What amazing transformation could happen.

The end of the year can be bittersweet. I am a year older, but am I a year wiser? A year more kind? A year more selfless, or a year more generous? A year more patient? Compassionate? Slow to anger? Abounding in love? Willing to go out of my way to bless another, particularly those closest to me? Because those things have the capacity to cause a ripple effect of goodness.

So go ahead and drink more water, lose some weight, and quit smoking. Your body will thank you for it. But do it to be of greater service to others and to God. Look higher, friend. Look higher.