Ranch Wife Musings | Remember the Rain

Originally printed in the Custer County Chronicle on May 1, 2024

What a springtime we have had! As I write this, a gentle rain is falling outside on a world becoming almost too green to look at. I love watching the animals in a rain like this. Unconcerned, unbothered, unflapped. They don’t seek shelter, or hump up their backs against it, but just let it fall and go about their business. The grass seems to double its height every day, and I think I could sit and watch my garden grow. The pastures are vivid beneath last year’s cured grasses, and the hayfield is slowly coming back to life after being stripped by hail last summer.

The forecast looks promising for continued moisture. We have had inches of precipitation so far this year, mostly in the form of rain since we had a nearly snowless winter, but the funny thing is that I look back on the last month or two, and I don’t remember when it happened.

We have no trouble remembering storms. In a climate where we measure rainfall in hundredths of an inch, we care deeply about the storms. Winter or summer, springtime or fall, it doesn’t matter. We remember the summertime gully washers, the calf-killing blizzards, the deadly cold snaps, or the heat waves that spike a whole region into red flag warnings. We remember the fire-starting lightning storms, powerline-downing ice storms. We remember the washout that fills all the dams in three hours and the wild green-up afterwards. We remember the hail that devastates and destroys, and the subsequent work re-siding and re-shingling the house. We remember the massive storm that follows a prolonged and agonizing dry spell, wrenching us violently out of a drought and providing moisture for a hay crop when we thought it wouldn’t be possible.

Good or bad, we remember those things.

But we never remember the rain. Just the rain.

Funny, because of all the kinds of storms, of all the kinds of weather events that bring chaos and goodness and growth and blessing, the gentle drizzle is the best of the best. The rain that falls gently, not driven by wind, but straight-falling rain, hushing sweetly in the grasses, trickling quietly down the windows, dripping lazily from tree branches and running softly down the sodden gravel road, slowly – so, so slowly! – filling puddles and dams and soaking deep into the ground where it can actually do the most good.

The gentle drizzle. The good it provides it provides slowly.

We do the same with metaphorical storms as well. We remember the big events, whether they bring grief or blessing. We remember the deaths and births and marriages and the marriages falling apart. We remember the big promotions and the job losses.

But what about all the gentle drizzle of good things that fill in the gaps?

We remember relational storms as well. We remember being madly in love or desperately heartbroken. We remember feeling wildly loved and feeling devastatingly hurt. We remember the glittering engagement ring, the wedding (maybe), the honeymoon (maybe), and we remember each other’s failures.

But what about all the gentle drizzle of good things that fill in the gaps?

We remember spiritual storms as well. We remember dry spells so critical we felt our faith would break, or being in such a vicious storm we couldn’t see our way out of it. We remember droughts breaking in a cloudburst of certainty and joy, and all our dams of hope and faith and joy being filled up overnight.

But what about the gentle drizzle? The times when a gentle heavenly watering keeps the ephemeral springs trickling, keeping the dams full in a less spectacular way? The things that keep the grass green, and ripen the crops without flattening them? The things that keep the ground soft for working, rather than pouring out everything all at once and running off?

It is easy to see why we remember storms. Real ones and metaphorical. They’re showy. A lot happens in a short amount of time, both good and bad. We remember that sort of thing. We can’t be faulted for that, but we can be faulted that we don’t remember the rain. It takes work to remember it. It is a choice to remember it.

And we need to remember it.

Life isn’t made up of storms, although some people do seem to have more than their fair share of stormy happenings. Sometimes I think we look for storms as the answer to our problems, whether it is an actual meteorological drought, or a metaphorical drought. We, in a way, like the show of the lightning and the roll of the thunder and the downpour that is unmistakable, watching the dams fill up in a matter of hours. We also brace for storms, sometimes going through life expecting to get flattened by a microburst at any second.

But life isn’t sustained by storms. It doesn’t take a storm to bring change, and a lot of times the change that a storm brings is short-lived, doing much less good than a much less spectacular gentle rain.

Gentle rain…Those daily graces God pours out. The sustenance, even if it seems meager. The spiritual sustenance, the physical sustenance. Like the daily awaking next to a beloved though imperfect spouse, the shared morning routine, the shared meals and quiet companionship of faithful marriage. Like watching the day to day and year by year growth and change in a loved one, or in oneself. Like the hindsight awe of getting by, even if it was tough. Like comfort in loneliness, even if it is years of loneliness. Like all of the millions of little things that can easily be overlooked or taken for granted.

That’s what life is made of. So, remember the rain.

Calf Funnies

The funniest sights of calves always involve their tongues. Either they forget they have one or they can’t quiiiiiite reach. This little guy was super determined to reach his little hind end, and was occupied for quite awhile doing so. I left and came back and he was working on the other side. Perseverance!

My favorite is seeing a baby calf, a little dozey-looking, probably just finished nursing, sitting there with his tongue sticking out of his mouth. Sometimes he has a milk mustache. It always makes me laugh, though half the time I don’t notice until I’m looking through pictures later.

Funny little critters.

Ranch Wife Musings | Which One I’d Pick

We really don’t go on dates. We didn’t when we were dating, and we don’t married. Maybe someday we can change that, since I really do think it is a good practice for married couples, but honestly our marriage reflects the simplicity of our “dating” life. We did life together. We worked together. We cooked meals together. Picked apples together. Worked cows. And these two photos? I took these just recently, but an awful lot of our dating and engagement was spent just so, and I would occasionally sneak photos of my favorite view when I was riding with Brad to check cows, or check the calving pasture, or check water, or whatever. I fell in love looking at this view.

And it made me think of something. This particular day, I had been busy with all sorts of things, we had vaccinated cows all morning, we were having a couple from church over the next day, and I had a house to clean, bread to bake, some writing and photo editing to do…So when Brad asked me if I wanted to go with him to check the calving pasture, I could have come up with a dozen excuses not to.

But here’s the thing: Those things can wait. They 100% can wait. But I will NEVER be disappointed for investing in my marriage and in my friendship with my husband, even if it means not getting the bread baked when I wanted to get it baked, or even if it means I have to do a bit of cramming to get my writing done, or to get housework done before guests get here, even if it means I don’t get the walk in that I wanted to take with the dogs, or whatever else.

Even now, while we don’t have children, time invested in marriage is priceless and precious. And, ladies, we can be way too prone to think our husbands aren’t romantic enough, or aren’t obvious enough in how they “pursue us.” We can complain, even if only in our ungrateful little hearts, that our husband isn’t doing this or that, and why can’t he just do X?

We have been fed a cultural diet of personality studies and love languages and other semi-worthless psychoanalytical drivel–“worthless drivel” because it is wielded as a weapon against those closest to us, rather than employed as a means of understanding our own quirks better so that we can moderate those quirks better, or understand our spouses better so that we can love them better. Those semi-worthless personality studies and the love languages garbage are used as a way to find fault with our spouses and families, rather than as a way to seek personal growth and maturing.

Have you ever heard someone say (or maybe you’ve said this yourself), “I know he’s trying, but it just isn’t my love language?” Talk about damaging. That way of thinking is poison.

So, when our husbands invite us to join them in their tasks? When they express enjoyment simply of having our company? That is showing love. That is investment. That is pursuit. And it is priceless. It might not look like a fancy restaurant and a bouquet of roses, but aren’t those things a little predictable and overrated? Be thankful for your husband, and look for the ways he loves you. And be willing to set your preconceived notions and prejudices and preferences aside to allow him to love you the way he knows best. It might come in the shape of a dozen roses, or it might come in the shape of riding double on the fourwheeler checking calves.

I know which one I’d pick.

That Time of Year

Once again, these early spring months fly by too fast for me to keep up! How is it already almost May? The sandhill cranes are already done migrating north, and the meadowlarks are home for the summer. Bluebirds are plentiful, another sure sign of spring. Finally the pasques are popping up on Potato Butte, the best place on the ranch to find them, and after getting frostbitten multiple times, they are finally gracing the greening slopes in the Calving Pasture. My perennials are coming up vigorously, in spite of multiple freezes and frosts, and I saw the first few asparagus spears yesterday!

We have already done the first bit of our cow work for the year, vaccinating our replacement heifers, calving is wrapping up, and branding is just around the corner. The chicks from the beginning of March just got moved into their kindergarten coop today, adjacent to the big girls’ coop, and Posey had her calf last week. We have been shuffling cows around today, so we’ll be ready to work them through tomorrow and get everything vaccinated.

Between Posey being back in milk, the chickens picking up their egg-laying, and my new found love of baking bread, the kitchen is a busy place, and the simplest and best of things are plentiful.

Winter gets long. It just does. Spring can be slow to start, and calving season can either be an exciting and enjoyable time, or a heartbreaking time. This is one of those great years. And a great time of year.

More Little Baldies

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the incredible beauty and diversity of these little baby baldy faces? I have been riding along with Brad when he checks the calving pasture, when I have the time, and it is just too fun to see all the variety and the cuteness overload. I think it drives my father-in-law nuts, how much I love these calves, but that’s just fine.

Little Baldies

Our neighbor’s Hereford bull took a liking to some of our cows last year and paid a number of, shall we say, social visits. It became quite a regular occurrence to kick him back out of the cows and back into his herd, and his beautiful progeny have graced our pastures this spring. I love them all.

In a sea of black Angus calves, the Charolais babies and all their vast colorings are delightful to my eyes…These precious baldy babies, though…My goodness. They are all just a little different, and I love it. As many calves as there are, it is fun to be able to actually recognize some time after time. The following three are Patches, Half-and-Half (look at her eyelashes!), and Freckles.

According to Brad, there are at least 15 more, so now that I can buzz around on the ATV without freezing, I’ll have to lug my camera back out. So precious!